The Kitchen Is On Fire

It’s another week, another journey around Jupiter, another wax and wane of Europa, our favourite moon. This intergalactic road trip also provides human beings of Earth with another incredible episode of the TickyOff podcast.
This week James has been roped into cooking bread with a bunch of children, only one of whom is related to him. Sam is ratty about a long, and to be fair somewhat dull, chat about the colour pink in restaurants.
They discuss flashing, ‘Grief Is The Thing With Feathers’, noodles and ‘Us’. Then beer expert and writer Melissa Cole shows up with a cool box full of beer and things improve no end. Melissa rains down chat-honesty like a cloud bank of verbal truth has just blown in from the West…or something.
She tells all about the grim idiocy of (some) in the craft beer world, changing demographics in beer drinking and drops more science than has ever been heard around these here TickyOff parts.
There’s also time for nursery rhymes, the difficulties of recording the sounds of a live hawk, tarot cards and mediums, and Melissa explains the benefits of Sam turning his back on his beloved Budweiser…

This week’s episode is sponsored by the entirely hairless, three fingered, web footed wine experts at

Direct download: TKIOF-EP178-HAMMER_OR_MALLET.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:14am EDT

This week on the damn pod things get off to an appalling start. There’s yet more moaning, some wild chat about how to spell the word for a hand-rolled cigarette and Sam wants to know which trees are found in the woodlands of Thailand.
The bar is set so low in these opening exchanges that things can only improve, and they do. In a way.
James has discovered that scientists have reversed time and it somehow involves racist ‘funnyman’ Jim Davidson and also poor John Virgo, whose name it would seem has been sullied by his ‘Big Break’ association with the aforementioned massive racist bellweasel, Davidson.
All of this high minded science chat is then somewhat undercut when Sam again disputes whether black holes exist and asks what they are actually doing at CERN. Sam then offers Brian Cox a sugar cube and the wheels fall off the podcast entirely….
Then journalist, and the man Gloria Hunniford wishes she was if she wanted to be a male consumer affairs legend instead of a female consumer affairs legend, Harry Wallop shows up.
This triumvirate of facially placed mouthholes spew forth on a £15 cup of a coffee, the inefficiencies of cheese, the wonder of Cumbrian Hotpot, the inanity of Quidditch and what it’s like writing for the gawddamn Daily Mail.
Oh and they talk about moths too.

This week’s episode is sponsored by the Orion’s Belt of the galaxy of wine

Direct download: TKIOF-EP177-MEDIEVAL_WARFARE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:55pm EDT

Sam begins this week’s episode with a war on science. He disproves ‘The Five Second Rule’. Yes that’s right. A towering pillar of humankind’s understanding of existence itself, is pushed over like a poor quality Jenga player might topple down those funtime wooden blocks.
James is back from Thailand, and he’s in love with the food, the vibe, a man of the woods and with his very own Mongolian donkey.
They also manage to cover people reading showy books in public and Sam gets very ratty with the Renaissance.
Then Mollie Goodfellow arrives and within actual seconds, teachers are getting their comeuppance, Joe Wicks is in Eastenders, Greggggggg Wallace is working out his back muscles and real life people are being met in real life and some people feel uncomfortable about that.
They also blabber on about pasta, private school guilt, the legend of King Arthur and The Sopranos.
And Mollie brings up ghosts. Which James loves.

This week’s episode is sponsored by myths and legends of the world of wine,

Category:general -- posted at: 8:49am EDT

This week Sam and James are both incredibly depressed. It’s amazing how despite this, they still open with this much world-beating chat gold to be honest. No one else could deliver chat at this level with black hounds humping at their haunches. No one. That’s why you come here and these guys just turn it on like it’s nothing. Impressive I’m sure you’ll agree.
No other human mouths could spurt kombucha updates, sleeping bag considerations, packing books for a trip in the Arctic based on weight and fake interview confessions, in this manner and at this level. No one.
After an opening like this week’s, only two people could possibly arrive and immediately match the TickyOff Boyz chat diamond for sparkling chat diamond. These two people are Sarit and Itamar from Honey & Co.
This rarely spotted quadruple of mouths go deep on how to and how not to open a restaurant, growing at the right pace, and the benefits of being your own boss. There’s also a whole bunch of truth delivered aurally concerning how to maintain a relationship under the pressures of running a business, they take a swing at French patisserie, might want their neighbour dead and Sam bites his tongue as they go big on the wonders of honey.
All this plus, a harp playing ghost in the bakery and Sarit and Itamar share both the best and worst traits they see in one another which is insanely cute. Which no one has ever, in the entire history of the mighty TickyOff, described any of the content as being.
That was a truly awful sentence to end this blurb with but…you know. The gold is on the pod yeah, it ain’t here. What do you want from me? Wake up.

This week’s podcast is sponsored by amazing wine fella-me-lads and brilliant vodka whippersnappers

Category:general -- posted at: 11:36am EDT