The Kitchen Is On Fire

This episode of TickyOff features food writer and cookbook author Rachel Roddy Zooming in from Rome. Rachel has just had her first restaurant meal post-lockdown, explains all about a pet tortoise called Secret Agent and seemingly suggests that all Romans ever eat is tongue. Rachel also describes growing up in her Grandmother’s pub, a delightful town in Sicily famous for its oil refinery and discusses the similarities between Roman and British cuisine.

Before Rachel roams in from Rome, James has visited yet another weird woodland with his kids, bought a load of cheap Budweiser and coughed in a shop. Which people loved. Sam meanwhile has visited a post office and learned from Barbara Cartland that he really should start eating honey.

There’s also time for great beer-based scenes in movies, a briefly fashionable blue cheese and Rachel pretty much trolls The TickyOff Two by bringing up Magpie.

This episode is sponsored by wine hive

Direct download: TKIOF-EP241-TONGUE_SANDWICH.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:31am EDT

‘Search for the hero inside yourself' sang M People on their third single from their multi platinum selling album ‘Bizarre Fruit’. Here at TickyOff Industries we’re not the sort to go around telling people what to do. If you want to listen to Heather Small’s instruction and look inside yourself somewhere for a hero then go right ahead. That’s your shout. We would gently suggest however that perhaps a hero can be located somewhere far more accessible, and lets be honest, more hygienically. Said hero is Ainsley Harriott and while he might be found in your heart, he can definitely be found on this darn skybusting world shaking episode of Thee Most Holy TickyOff.

That’s right people, wake up. Ainsley Harriott is here. And The TickyOff Two finally meet someone as magnetic, charming and lovely as themselves.

Ainsley tells all about his dog Shy Basmati Bob, his pianist father, alternative cabaret, cricket and sexy James Martin in a bandana. He talks about soul searching during lockdown, what it’s like being Ainsley Harriott in a supermarket and the ups and downs of his long career in food.

The TickyOff Boyz also hassle Ainsley on what he cooks at home, where he likes to eat out and whether or not he rocks Ready Steady Cook reunions with the legendary likes of Paul Rankin and Anthony Worrall Thompson.

Before Ainsley shows, James witnesses a horse attack on a dog and has run a ludicrous distance. Meanwhile Sam has wet hair and a book about Posh And Becks.

All this plus, Ainsley’s grandfather’s face is attacked by a ghost!

This episode was a vast pleasure to record and we couldn’t be more grateful to Ainsley for his time. Now you can experience this vast pleasure and be grateful to us for giving it to you. You are welcome.

This episode is sponsored by wine red tomatoes

Please do visit our Patreon here:

Direct download: TKIOF-EP240-AINSLEY.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:07am EDT

This spectacular episode of The TickyOff features self confessed ‘anal pastry’ legend Calum Franklin of The Holborn Dining Rooms absolutely mouth-audioing all over the damn place about pies, craftsmanship, Ginsters, time pieces made of sausages and making many a pie to help the NHS. Calum also has no idea how old he is which may have something to do with the nature of chefs and their memories.

Before the C-Frank shows James reads another highly erotic recipe from Barbara Cartland, is covered in his daughter’s blood and is once more eating some salmon fish. Sam is waking up too early and eating tom yum. Oh and they discuss the whole Alison Roman disasterpiece…

This episode is sponsored by Team Teigen wine merchants

Calum’s charity pies can be found here:

Calum himself is on Instagram: @chefcalum

Direct download: TKIOF-EP239-SAUSAGE_CLOCK.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:16am EDT

Episode two hundred and thirty eight of the damn TickyOff is what they call a doozy. I am however concerned that I have no idea who they are and what exactly a doozy is. Anyway, it is what it is, just do it, I’m lovin’ it, etc.

The T-Boyz begin irritated at tedious people and the low standard of pandemic gags on Twitter., James has a new bike and may have taken his children to a dogging spot. Sam meanwhile makes a ‘vegetarian’ kimchi jigae and buys some mashed potato.

Then Phil Bracey (@philbracey) of P Franco, Bright and Peg renown shows up and these three legends of East London based hospitality begin by trading sad memories of the day they had to close all their restaurants dude to this accursed viral contagion of doom.
Fortunately they then move on to cheerier topics, restarting your career discovering east London, becoming a chef kingmaker of sorts, huge early success and the hype which comes along with it.

There’s also saffron chat, bay blindness and a deep dive into restaurant communications at Pidgin.

This is TickyOff and it’s pretty much all you have left so appreciate it.

This episode is sponsored by wine hypebeasts

Phil’s fine establishments can be found on Instagram: @bright_restaurant @pfranco_e5 @noblefineliquor

Finally, do visit our Patreon:

Direct download: TKIOF-EP238-THE_CROCODILE_HUNT.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:54am EDT

This episode of TickyOff is a true first for humankind. Unlike the moon landings and ventriloquism however, this is real. It’s the first transatlantic episode. That’s right. The TickyOff Two thumb their noses at many vast bodies of water, none more so than the Atlantic. They fling their mouthsounds from these foul green shores of Albion across that pathetic puddle of an ‘ocean’ and in return, from Gotham City aka NYC, they hear the mouthsounds of Youngmi Mayer, comedian and Mission Chinese Food co-owner.

Youngmi brings her usual searing honesty to her life in lockdown, dating online, swearing in front of her son, what it means to be ‘chaotically single’, shutting down the Mission restaurants in San Francisco and New York, and why Beach House are the true sound of dating hookups in 2020.

Before Youngmi arrives Sam looks nice, calls James a turtle and cooked a dish by a disgraced chef. James meanwhile reads a grim recipe by Barbara Cartland and was insulted in the street.

All this plus TickyOff takes another one of it’s patented controversial issue stances, this week they are very anti a certain war criminal. And they all agree that lockdown would be very easy indeed if you got to do it with Tom Hardy.

This episode was a damn joy to record and it will be a damn joy for your ears so wake up and tip it in ‘em.

This episode is sponsored by the true romance novelists of wine

Youngmi can be found on Twitter and Instagram @ymmayer, her podcast @feelingasianpodcast and Instadate Live @instadatelive

Direct download: TKIOF-EP237-CHAOTICALLY_SINGLE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:29am EDT

It’s been a tough week for the TickyOff Boyz with not a whole lot of positives to kick off with. However, things could well be looking up, James has some solo chop-time upcoming alongside a snack of squid. In other cephalopod news Sam heard rumour of some cuttlefish nearby but didn’t find them and instead spent too much money on tomatoes.

Moving past these epic rubbery seafood tales they get to talking bookshelves and the books upon them. Sam bought a fine book from Alcatraz and James reads a lovely passage about a salmon fish from a book he describes as ‘presciently old fashioned’. Delightful.

Then Miles Kirby of Caravan arrives and is seemingly partaking in the pod from the set of ‘Silence Of The Lambs’. Miles is about to whip up some gong bao chicken which sets all three of them reminiscing about the awesome Sichuan cuisine at Bar Shu and what a wonder (friend of the podcast) Fuchsia Dunlop is.

Miles also delivers mouth delivered audio on the Caravan origin story, working for Peter Gordon, and flying to Germany to cook venison in hypermarkets….

There’s also some serious chat on transitioning out of the kitchen, the stress and pressure of personal guarantees to set up restaurants and Caravan’s plans for moving into delivery during these grim old pandemic shaped days.

This episode is sponsored by wine shaped wine delivery kings

Direct download: TKIOF-EP236-BAD_TOWNS_EVERYWHERE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:55am EDT

Right, guess what? It’s still lockdown and jokers are still joking on with jokey joke sourdough. Therefore, The TickyOff Boyz decided as a public service to invite on a real bread whisperer to school you jokers. Martha Delacey (@marthadelacey) is here and she’s upending a yeasty, grainy, floury, rising, dutch oven full of bread related knowledge upon yr joker heads. Martha schools all on not following recipes, calming the hell down and her experiences setting up online classes during lockdown.

Before Martha arrives James befriends Ainsley Harriott, bigs up a pretty weak Beatles album and (it says here in my notes) ‘channels a parrot’. I have less than no idea what that means. You work it out. Let’s be honest, it’s coronavirus and I’m probably off my head.

In other ‘news’ Sam is very rude about an upcoming guest and has started running again, there’s new adverts at the start and they talk about meatballs. If that ain’t groovy, I don’t know what is.

This episode is sponsored by wine shapers and bakers,uk

For more information on all things Martha:

Direct download: TKIOF-EP235-RUBBER_SOUL.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:18am EDT

The episode of TickyOff that lies before your ears contains four mouths.
Two of these mouths belong to the TickyOff Boyz. One each. One apiece.
The remaining two mouths belong to the TickyOff Boyz wives.

You come to each episode of TickyOff searching for qualities you cannot find in other podcasts. Traits such as speedy wit, semi-raw sexuality, towering intelligence upon such subjects as ghosts and skillets. Some people would tell you that these things do not in fact exist upon, within, The TickyOff. These people are wrong. At least for this one episode. With their wondrous brides alongside them The TickyOff Two reach new heights of wonderment for the betterment of humankind….

Before they arrive James kicks off at bathtime, sends an aggy email and goes on a rant about the much misunderstood service charge issues facing hospitality. Sam talks about Blink 182 again.

Then Abbie Herlihy and Rosie Ramsden arrive and it becomes very clear, very quickly, that the true power behind the TickyOff Throne, belongs to these two.

Abbie talks about her kids cooking school Kitcheneers and how her parents met inside a windmill. Rosie tells all about her life drawing supper club Charcoal and why she’d pick Goose over Maverick. Meanwhile Sam is puerile, did something grim with a tin of tuna and is attacked by a crow while inside a tent. James disses toastie machines, has a vast collection of decorative napkin rings and doesn’t understand Monopoly.

There might not be a vaccine for coronavirus just yet, but while we wait, there’s TickyOff. Be grateful.

This episode is sponsored by wine test and tracers

For more information on Kitcheneers please visit:

For further information on Charcoal please visit:

Direct download: TKIOF-EP234-MUM_SOUP.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:42am EDT