The Kitchen Is On Fire

The very definition of ‘scenes’ on this episode of TickyOff, Sam has grown a moustache. It is foul. Be grateful you cannot see it and only have to hear about it. Meanwhile, James has cooked a disappointing lunch, they both discuss a controversial article by chef Gabrielle Hamilton and Sam completely misunderstands the plot of ‘The Lion King’.

Then author Evie Wyld arrives for her second appearance on the damn pod. Evie’s mouth creates noises which we, and you, interpret via human ears. These noises concern a naked son obsessed with Transformers, not writing during lockdown, socially distanced hangtimes, and how it’s been releasing her new novel ‘The Bass Rock’ into the current pandemic-screwed world.

There’s also a fair measure of serious chat in this episode too regarding looking after your kids, domestic abuse and vulnerable people. But fear not, there’s more than enough time for a long sausage discussion and plenty of jigsaw puzzle chat too.

Hmmm…..TickyOff you say? Yeah, I do. Wake up.

This episode is sponsored by wine peeps

Category:general -- posted at: 5:31am EDT

This episode of TickyOff features a second appearance by Tim Anderson, (@cheftimanderson) chef owner of Nanban and cookbook writer. Tim talks recording the Kitchen Cabinet during lockdown, using up strange flours in his pantry, and the benefits of laugh tracks. Tim also gets into disliking restaurant food despite being a restaurant owner, katsu sandos, caponata and selling his plasma to buy an iPod.

Before Tim arrives, James tries to think of his five perfect films, attempts to film a potato advert and reveals to all exactly what ‘The Rule Of The Twat’ is. Sam meanwhile has a rant about a doomy article, nearly smashes a window, has been teaching his kids to play high stakes poker and is convinced he’s a better guitarist than Prince was.

All of this top drawer, and shelf, content plus Ainsley Harriot, Mark Ruffalo, Stanley Tucci and Drew Barrymore.

If TickyOff was a human, and you were a cannibal, you’d eat it.

This episode is sponsored by the wine delivery version of that ancient old fella walking circles around his garden

Finally, please visit our Patreon site and throw us a few pennies if you can spare 'em for all this incredible life changing content we give're welcome. lol. etc.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP232-ANIMAL_HUMANS.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:28am EDT

This episode of Thine TickyOff (we do it all for you because we are kind and generous) features Joe Warwick creating mouthsounds, with his mouth of all things. It’s quite the performance. Joe is fresh from a tricky Instagram Live debut with Rene Redzepi of Noma and Amanda Cohen of Dirt Candy in NYC. Joe makes it very clear that his appearance on TickyOff is a far greater honour than yapping it up with the ant man and the veggie botherer…

Before Joe arrives, Sam ‘reveals’ he’s hungover and once more ‘reveals’ he doesn’t like salmon very much. James ‘reveals’ that he made burgers and also ‘reveals’ that you can now buy a kit with which to make burgers at home. This kit chat then devolves in to a long joke that seems likely to only be found amusing by the TickyOff Boyz themselves and no one else….apologies.

Then Joe shows and these three bros get into The Strokes. More specifically how good a singer Julian Casablancas is and whether or not their new record is any cop.

There’s a long discussion about runners and the etiquette of running during lockdown and Roger Moore comperes the World’s 50 Best Awards. They also cover the fall of influencers, apologising to your children and the hope that we could maybe come out the other side of this crisis a little healthier.

Is this it? No, it’s TickyOff.

This episode is sponsored by fab wine folk

Also, if you could possibly spare a penny or two for the pod in these tricky as all hell times, we'd be most grateful. Hit up our Patreon here:

Direct download: TKIOF-EP231-ZOOM_ON_FIRE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:29am EDT

This episode of The World’s Greatest and Most Popular Podcast Ever Made, Thee TickyOff, features Alex Andreou, writer, cook, man about Twitter and a whole bunch of other stuff no doubt. Alex calls in from Mykonos to discuss burning bread, elongating time, preparing snails for dinner, annoying Italians and some high grade tekkers on how to make a Greek burger. There’s also some very honest, and if I’m being honest, very moving, chat from Alex about caring for his mother in the late stages of her dementia. Maybe you don’t come to TickyOff for that kinda yap, well wake up people. Quiver, meet yet another kinda arrow!

Before Alex arrives James and Sam find time to discuss James’s lovely skull, Sam’s new found urge to Fridge Forage, an extremely dated burger recipe (Shout out to Jimmy O’s Botham Burger!) and they wonder on whether or not horses eat hemp.

It’s still TickyOff, you’re still in lockdown. Wake up.

This episode is sponsored by wine twinkle twinkle little stars

Direct download: TKIOF-THE_SNAIL_AND_THE_WAIL.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:34am EDT

James has shaved his head. It looks decent. Sam has recently eaten a saveloy in a mildly disturbing manner. And with a foundation like that, how could The TickyOff Boyz fail to deliver yet another episode of podcastical genius?
Spoiler alert, they don’t fail. It’s an absolute aural triumph that the world should be very grateful for indeed.
Today they are ably assisted by food writer Jonathan Nunn. Jonathan discusses lockdown forcing him back into the kitchen, his fear of baking and how much weight he’s lost since being unable to dine out every night.
He also talks about Vittles, his newly launched food newsletter, why the sourdough trope is ultimately a good thing and why platforming new voices in food is vital.
There’s also time to discuss a controversial piece, the slow destruction of London communities and what in all hell anyone hopes the food world will or could look like post Coronavirus.

This week’s episode is sponsored by wine wanderers across London

Direct download: TKIOF-EP229-KEYSER_SOZE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:15am EDT

This Easter episode of Thee Most Holy TickyOff features a second appearance by chef and owner of King restaurant in NYC, Jess Shadbolt (@jessieshad) Jess is in lockdown in the wilds of Essex fighting over her mother’s stove, drinking lots of rose and watching Floyd get drunk across France in some relaxing British cookery television classics.
Jess describes the coronavirus shutdown of NYC, how she’s trying to keep her business afloat, the coming together of the US hospitality industry and her fears for the future of New York’s dining scene.

Before all this absolutely top drawer Jess content there’s more than enough time for Sam to startle a pig and for James to potentially poison himself.

Finally, somehow, there is also room in this episode for a dream about Rene Redzepi and a horse and Sam reveals the secrets of ‘Maff’s Meat Drawer’…..

It’s TickyOff, and it is risen, like a dough of some sort.

This episode is sponsored by wine delivery merchants

Category:general -- posted at: 6:28am EDT

This was the last episode of TickyOff recorded within the hallowed walls of the hallowed TickyOff Towers. Said episode was recorded at the start of the coronavirus hell that we all find ourselves in. Please forgive any comments underestimating the challenge that would present itself to us all following this. We didn’t know. We ain’t Marty McFly. And James ain’t Doc Brown.

Anyway, its a great damn episode. Sami Tamimi and Tara Wigley of the Ottolenghi empire are here to talk their new book ‘Falastin’, nature vs nurture, facial tattoos and a rat-catcher named Spiderman.

Sam wants to open a Nobu in Malibu. James wants to work with other people’s wives. Sami may want to open a swingers club and Tara was obsessed with Buddy Holly.

It’s TickyOff, and while it fully respects social distancing measures, it flips the bird at people being bland.

This episode is sponsored by wine fellows

Direct download: TKIOF-EP227-THE_DAY_BEFORE_TOMORROW.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:56am EDT

John Craven of 'Newsround' fame is sadly not on Thee TickyOff today. If I’m being entirely honest then I can’t remember why I named this episode ‘John Craven’. All I know is that John Craven is mentioned at some stage. I wonder how John Craven is. I hope he’s holed up with his loved ones and taking good care of himself. Great jumpers, great news related mouth sounds, great guy.

Anyway, J Crave ain’t here but we have someone far better, Zoe Adjonyoh is here. Zoe utilises her mouth to create noises that we can hear via our ears. These sounds concern such topics as growing up Irish/Ghanaian, the community kitchen she’s in the process of setting up, protectionism and tokenism, and also hang-gliding in America.

Before Zoe shows up, The TickyOff Two chat up some solid gold content, there’s a very wet lasagne, Taika Waititi at Sons + Daughters, nasal science and James’s triumphant return to Twitter.

Also, to help with Zoe's crowdfunder please go here:

This episode is sponsored by wine gods and monsters

Direct download: TKIOF-EP226-JOHN_CRAVEN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:49am EDT

Yeah yeah yeah. TickyOff is back. Wake up. What else do you have to do with your time?
Today James and Sam kick off with some lockdown boozing chat, a little Michael Gove yap and they wonder a while on whether their wives should guest upon the TickyOff.

Then Ryan Riley of Life Kitchen appears before them digitally via the new found miracle of video conferencing technology and those two digital mouths become three digital mouths and all three mouths speak, digitally on a number of topics. These include Ryan’s origin story to setting up Life Kitchen following the death of his mother, his move back up North, going on ‘Lorraine’ and what to do with one’s hands on ‘Saturday Kitchen’.
There’s also a deep dive into creating flavour in dishes for people with compromised palates due to medical treatment, synergistic umami and a taco made from pineapple.

All this plus, Sam yet again thinks baked potatoes are far too hot and James makes soup for his kids. Wow. Hot spuds and bad soup equals good TickyOff times.

This episode is sponsored by wine delivery folk for humanity

Direct download: TKIOF-EP225-THE_ONE_POUND_SIDE_BET.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:05am EDT