The Kitchen Is On Fire

This is a podcast. It is sounds in your ears. This is what this is. Nothing more, plenty less....

Check these newsworthy events out! James has been swimming this week, whilst looking like Pablo Escobar. Sam has been concerned that events in his life may be linked by more than mere coincidence. Together they've been to Brigadiers for dinner, James told a mayo based lie and Sam experienced a last minute baked alaska situation.

Then actor James Norton bowls in and topics get serious.

James N discusses Harvey Weinstein, Craig David, sex scenes and battery powered thermals. James R counters with some rock solid topics of his own such as the time he got mugged twice in Russia, on the same night. Sam H joins in the chat-attack with the TKIOF boyz failed audition for 'Call Me By Your Name' , summer penises and depression cheeseburgers.

There's also somehow time to note that Peter Sarsgaard is an absolute legend, George Harrison's house is properly mental and James Norton's family home came complete with a creepy as all hell, full size, waxwork of a seventy year old woman.....

This is TickyOff, you are human people with human ears, we are human people with human mouths making sounds.

This week's episode is sponsored by and


Direct download: TKIOF-EP149-MY_IDYLLIC_MANHUNT.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:34am EDT

I’ll level with you, this episode is very much a game of two halves, a yin and a yang, an MJ and McCartney groove….and that weirdly quasi racist slow jam is not a bad reference because this week Sam and James are joined by food writer Lizzie Mabbott to discuss racism in the world of food, with particular reference to the grim events of the last few weeks in a particular London restaurant. Go look on Twitter for #somsaashitshow if you want to get the grim backstory to the entire grim mess. Grim. Gr meet im.
However, TickyOff can not and will not be cowed and bowed by racists and hatred, there’s important work to be done here! We have local soup chat to get though. We have vagina naming chats, pasta shape yaps and Thom Yorke’s kids discussions.
James reveals Dr Oetker’s son’s name, Sam gathers wood and gets furious with Sir Jony/Joni/Johnny Ive. Lizzie talks stiff membranes and having a scotch egg for an eye.
Yeah, there’s still classic TKIOF vibes aplenty, but sometimes it’s worth getting into a serious topic like this. It sucks it’s in our industry, it sucks we have to spend an episode talking about it but it is and we do, so we did.
So, balls to dumb racists, cheers to awesome Lizzie Mabbott and hopefully next week we can devote 100% of the episode to real big topics, like soup, and dead people’s chairs and mayonnaise.

This week is sponsored by
I love them, you probably would too if you met them.

Direct download: TKIOF148-BRENDAS_END_1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:08am EDT

This week upon Thee Most Holy TickyOff, James and Samuel are straight up joined by the mighty Ed Harcourt up in the office. Ed babbles up a storm on New Orleans, falling into a pit of spiders, his move to the countryside and Graham Coxon's nickname for him. Ed is  also producing sounds from his mouth about chopping wood, his drug related kryptonite and how to stay creative when you have kids.

How's this for a spoiler?....Prior to Mr Harcourt's arrival James and Sam correctly predict the England result and incorrectly predict the Federer result. Wow meet zer.

These two buffoons then get into sausage rolls, the 'Unexplained' podcast, cooking fish in fields and Richard Dawkins' ghost.

Once Ed shows, there's also time for Danny Dyer's perfect comedy timing, an udder on the back of a head, lentils, and gumbo.

Also, one more spoiler for your spoilt selves, this one via a funtime quiz....Ed's great aunt was:

1. A beluga whale

2. Elizabeth David

3. Frida Kahlo

4. Really annoying

5. A half human half turkey hybrid

6. A figment of Ed's imagination

The answer is......TWO!!!! IS THIS TRUE?!?!? Yeah. He talks about it on this podcast. OH MY F&CKING GOD!! REALLY?!?!? Yeah. Chill out yeah? Calm down and listen to the mouthsounds in yer ear tunnels.

This episode is sponsored by

How'd you like them apples grapes?

Direct download: TKIOF-EP147-THE_RURAL_CLOWN.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:48am EDT

Wake up and smell the word noises dribbling from human mouth parts!

James opens up like a clam of chat to discuss his beard line, his rogue mother-in-law and his discovery of a single grey hair somewhere strange.

Sam gushes human language sounds like a methane vent on a buried landfill site concerning such wondertopics as suicide hotspots, dawn walks and Paul Rudd.

Then Oisin Rogers, esteemed man about town and landlord of one of London's finest boozers shows up and things take a turn for the educational. How to hire the right people, the wonders of a proper lunch, Otto's restaurant in Kings Cross and Dublin bus routes.

There is also talk of a horse whisperer, a couple of listener emails, ghosts doing graffiti and we learn exactly what Osh's "Diddle" is.....

This podcast right here in yer ears is sponsored by the wonderful wine pedlars:

Category:general -- posted at: 9:02am EDT