The Kitchen Is On Fire

Chef Victor Garvey is back upon the TickyOff this week. He has carried some delicious jamon through the streets of Soho and he’s also carried some noises in his mouth that he releases like Candyman from the movie ‘Candyman’ releases wasps or bees or whatever they were from his mouth. These noises coalesce into topics that you can listen to with those holes in the side of your skulls. Those holes are called ear holes and you should let these sounds enter those holes but do not let wasps or bees enter. That would hurt.
Victor is babbling on about his new venture in Soho, his love for Ironman, and the moves young chefs should, but rarely, make.
There’s also chat about glamorous beans, James looks like Don Trump Junior, Victor looks like someone awful and Sam gets Victor’s name entirely wrong.
Victor spreads some serious paella based knowledge about, James yammers out something about how you collect diamonds or rubies or something and they all get seriously into the biggest of topics, in the midst of the pretty damn big topics I’ve already mentioned: DEATH!!
Death and TKIOF. What the hell else did you expect? Food chat? Jokers.


This week The Tickyoff is sponsored by lords of the dance and also, far more importantly, lord of wine!:

And those friendly neighbourhood vodka based still-jockeys at

Direct download: TKIOF-EP155-VINCENT.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:55pm EDT

Listen up people. This episode is not messing around. I mean, James and Sam do mess around briefly at the start to be fair. They babble on about over reacting to bad reviews, and how 'Bob' is regularly the name of gameshow hosts. Sam writes a nice tweet and James plays a great new TKIOF game 'Dead Or Alive'.

So there is that small portion of messing around.

Then Asma Khan arrives and the time for silly business is over.

The origin story herein is a darn epic. Taking in royalty, a fortress, cricket in the streets, the often sad reality for second born daughters and Asma's journey to today as the chef owner of the awesome Darjeeling Express in Soho and now the first chef from Britain featured on Netflix's 'Chef's Table'.

It's maybe a first for episode that's pretty poignant, fascinating and possibly even quite moving...

Though maybe it's not a first and the 'Joey Trib' game regularly gets you all weepy....I dunno.

James and Sam pipe down and listen the hell up. I suggest you do the same.

This week's episode is sponsored by your booze buddies and mine:



Direct download: TKIOF-EP154-SHEDS_OF_THE_DEAD.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:43am EDT

You can cast many things. A fishing line. A spell. A perfect replica of your own genitals in molten lead. You can also cast pods. And that ladies and gentlemen is exactly, exactly, what these two chuckleheads James and Sam have gone and done this week. For the one hundred and fifty third time. If that isn't a casting achievement, I have no goddamn idea what is. Wake up!

This week our grim pair wake up next to one another and decide to emit sounds from their mouths during morning time. These audible emissions concern fun topics such as  Jordan Peterson's weird diet, Sam's anniversary party and James's visit to spendy quasi-restaurant Maus.

Sam apologizes for getting a 'Silence of The Lambs' reference wrong last week, James apologizes for being leathered on last week's pod and they both get into a truly wonderful chat concerning how best to dismantle, store and rebuild large structures made of metal. It really is something.

After far too much of this ballyhoo, writer, OG Masterchef winner and founder/owner of Wahaca restaurants, Thomasina Miers arrives in the office and actual sensible, wise and interesting vowels, words and concepts spurt forth.  Tex-Mex food, mezcal, biochemistry and Ballymaloe cookery school are covered. Sam goes to a Taco Bell in Compton LA during the height of early 1990's gang violence. James drinks tequila with Tom Parker Bowles and Thomasina tells her origin story from winning Masterchef to opening Wahaca.

Finally, TickyOff throws a crime shaped bone out there for fans of true crime, deep-dive podcasts like 'Dirty John' and 'Serial' and turns out that there's every chance that Thomasina has utterly destroyed Soho Farmhouse's entire crop of courgettes for next year.....


This week's sponsors are...guess who????

Yeah, it's the vineyard botherers at and the grog hawkers at

Direct download: TKIOF-EP153-THE_COURGETTE_KILLER.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:45am EDT

Back after their summer break, the dumbo-deux get straight into word sounds from their mouths. These word sounds concern such topics as the evolution of tabloid sex language, The California Raisins and The Who. Sam may be romping with a donkey, James really loves creamy honey and friend of the pod, Moves from Drop, goes on a 'Notting Hill' style walk through Soho.

Then Clerkenwell Boy shows up, cracks open a beer and matters improve as this triple mouthed discussion gang get into the ups and downs of influencing, charity work and why gorgonzola is possibly the best cheese there is. Oh and CB invites Beyonce and Roger Federer round for sushi and negronis....

There's also a real deep dive into the band Foreigner, Korean BBQ, and hugely exciting news about the acoustic set that James is playing at The Hawley Arms next Thursday!

And on a more serious note, to contribute to Cook For Syria as discussed in the episode please go to:

This week's episode is sponsored by the fine people at:


Direct download: TKIOF-EP152-BATMAN_OR_MANBAT_.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:35am EDT