Last week the TickyOff Boyz visited the ancient pyramids. As they approached these magnificent desert triangles, Sam jumped down from James’s mighty back and noticed something.
“A triangle has three points!” Sam bellowed powerfully.
James snorted in agreement and they both immediately reached the same conclusion. They should find a guest who had been on the TickyOff twice before and invite them back on the TickyOff for a third TickyOff appearance so that they could be the first triangular guest on the TickyOff. What better way to pay homage to their favourite shape, the triangle? There was only one possible human who could achieve this milestone, Eater London editor, Adam Coghlan.
Sam jumped back astride his trusty steed with a powerful cry of:
“To home, my equine buddy!”
They turned away from the sandy three sided brick stacks and rode home to TickyOff Towers to anoint the very first TickyOff Triangle Human.

Adam ponders on why some people hate Eater London, the AA Gill award controversy, influencers, nuance torpedoes and reaching across an aisle. He comes out in support of a foul crisp and raves about Tata Eatery.
Also, Sam has had an operation on his back and legged it from a nurse. James went to Yorkshire and cooked a rubbish salmon-based meal. There’s gildas discussion, Adam wears something called The Bill Oddie and Sam goes up to the top of the Royal Opera House only to discover a strange genre of toilet.

This weeks’ episode is sponsored by legendary whisperers of wine dropwine.co.uk

This week on the fun filled and friendly Kitchen Is On Fire podcast James Ramsden and Samuel Herlihy have a lovely chat about the wonderful world of food. James offers up some very useful tips on spatchcocking a chicken. Sam shares a fascinating tale about a very unusual fish. If you’re a ‘real foodie’ then you’ll love this episode. Sunday Times food and Code Hospitality editor Lisa Markwell then joins the boys to share her deep wealth of knowledge about pesky restaurant lists, savoy cabbage and her incredible, and incredibly educational ,visit to Palestine. Food broadcasting at it’s very very best I think you’ll agree……..

Right, that was foul. This week on the goddamn TickyOff:

Are bears canines?
Sam doesn’t understand poultry skeletal systems!
There’s a fish with a human face! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05XMQqCfba4
James finds a mystery cheese!
Lisa Markwell goes on a boat with Mick Hucknall and Sinead O’Connor!
James was a brat when he worked in a pub!
Lisa has never ever drunk Coca-Cola!

It’s a podcast with more legendary chat than any other and if you describe yourself, ever, as a real foodie, you’ve come to the wrong damn place. Wake up.

This week’s episode is sponsored by awesome wine people dropwine.co.uk

Done.

It was a dark and stormy night….
No it wasn’t!
That’s a complete lie!
Wool, meet my pulling hands, meet your eyeballs!
It was an early evening in London in June. Therefore, British Summer Time. So it wasn’t dark and it wasn’t night and the weather was fine.
What a trickster I am. And you totally bought it. Unlucky.

Anyway, the scene is now set. Great British Bake Off series one winner Edd Kimber turned up at the TickyOff Towers and two mouths became three mouths and sounds from those mouths were heard. From all three mouths. 'Twah boosh' as our Gallic pals might say.

There’s Paul Hollywood chat, Edd’s new deep dive into sourdough, baking in Israel, the best bun and everyone’s favourite windy day activities.

Sam eats a taxi driver’s cookie in New York. James turns on Sam. Edd gets his revenge on the kids who bullied him at school and they all eat delicious yucca flour based treats.

Oh and before Edd arrives, The TickyOff Two go very long and very deep on a mysterious business card belonging to a man who can raise the dead, stop evil eyes in their evil tracks and may or may not be able to fix James’s poor quality golf swing.

This is TickyOff and it sure is swell.

This week’s episode is sponsored by the witchy wine voodoo of those wacky kids at dropwine.co.uk

The TickyOff Boyz have been present at many of the greatest events in human history. When the pyramids were being built Sam was there, complaining that all of the snacks had too much honey in them. When JFK was shot, James was grazing on the grassy knoll. They were both at the filming of the ‘Big Break’ season 14 finale when John Virgo finally had enough of boorish scumbag Jim Davidson, clobbered him about the head with a snooker cue and started feeding him those blue chalk cubes.
They were also present in TickyOff Towers a week or so ago when Emma Underwood, legendary GM of newly opened Darby’s in London showed up to utilise her mouth to create audible noises on a wide variety of subjects.
This is a record of this world-cleaving event, Episode 190: Welcome To Woho.

Revel in Emma’s origin story from anarcha-feminist PhD to working for Gary Usher! Thrill to Sam using too many spoons! Listen in awe as James says ‘hella’ a lot!

This triangular chat-based cohort also manage to discuss diversity in hiring, windmills, mentorship, moats and Marcus Wareing’s stag do.

It’s TickyOff, and you should know by now, it’s very special indeed.

This week’s episode is sponsored by wine mavens dropwwine.co.uk

Sam and James went to a donut* shop in Brooklyn.
The donut shop is owned by Wylie Dufresne.
Wylie Dufresne is a legend among chefs for his pioneering work at the sadly now closed WD50 and Alder.
He then decided to open the aforementioned donut shop.
They sell donuts.
Which are lush.
They also sell a grilled cheese and egg sandwich which is also, lush.
Wylie Dufresne very kindly agreed to trade off mouth noises with James and Sam.
So that’s what happened.
And that’s what this is.
A TickyOffWorld first, a bonus episode.
Wylie Dufresne is a lovely dude.
Sam and James are lovely dudes, on occasion.
Happy Christmas people!
You are, at least a little, welcome.

*It's Gotham, that's the spelling

This week’s episode is sponsored by the kind and generous people at www.hotel50bowery.com

The TickyOff Boyz have sailed across the North Sea in a galleon. A traverse which no one has ever managed to survive despite humankind attempting it for millennia. Upon reaching the far shore, James and Sam discover a strange land, a city named Gotham, and a vast number of sandwiches.
Fortunately for you they record their discoveries and provide great insight into them by rubbing their teeth together and shaking their tongues to create mouth sounds which your ear bones can detect.

They have made this incredible, and brave, journey on a research trip to discover whether the people of Gotham can make better sandwiches than the TickyOff Gang. It turns out, no they can’t. They also see some spooky black smoke, are yelled at by a taxi driver called Dennis and they eat a pickle-packet on a busy intersection. James tries to outwit a buffet, Sam has fallen deep into a Coldplay shaped rabbit-hole and they both wonder, once more, where exactly Jackson Boxer has got stuck this week.

Then they meet up with chef and co-owner of King restaurant Jess Shadbolt and things get more than real. Jess adds her mouth noises to proceedings concerning restaurant scene camaraderie, disastrous services, the realities of running a restaurant in NYC and advice and help from food world heavyweights Dave Chang, Gabrielle Hamilton and Will Beckett from Hawksmoor. Will also seems to pop up throughout the pod as everyone thinks that he and the drummer from Coldplay may well be the same person.

There’s also time for flapJack, a lot of borlotti bean chat, ’Sleepless In Seattle’ and Sam and James reveal exactly what Le Page is.

This week’s episode is sponsored by the kind and generous people at www.hotel50bowery.com and by the Bane and Batman of wine at www.dropwine.co.uk

It’s another week in TickyOff Land and that can mean only one thing; the moon has circled Jupiter once again, it’s orbit controlled, as science tells us, by magma, magnets and mountains sinking into the Earth’s mantle, or crust.

Now there’s a paragraph that made close to no sense. Much like most of Episode 188. James has been to Sweden and is fascinated by deceased actor Powers Boothe. Sam has been camping and believes old people to be dry to the touch.
There’s a return of new segment ‘Where’s Jackson Boxer Stuck?’, there’s morteau sausage cooked on a fire, anthrax from dead deer and we finally work out exactly what Postman Pat and Mrs Goggins get up to when Pat ‘visits’.

Then chef and restaurateur Tom Aikens arrives and sounds created in his lungs, as science tells us, are delivered into the ears of the human race. These sounds concern his new steakhouse in Abu Dhabi, running a frankly ludicrous number of marathons, his origin story from Norfolk alongside his twin brother, and a blue cheese addiction which pretty much gets out of control.

A selection of other noises erupting from Tom include old school restaurant culture, working for Pierre Koffmann and what happened when he sat astride a runaway race horse.

This week’s episode is sponsored by sausages.
That’s a lie. It’s sponsored by dropwine.co.uk

YOLO!

Gary Rhodes in his spiky-haired prime, delicately basting a filet of beef with foaming butter…

Nigel Kennedy in an Aston Villa shirt picking out a heartrending melody on his violin…

Les Dennis effortlessly controlling a studio audience with wit, good looks, and pure charm…

All masters in their respective fields. Operating at the very top of their games. Providing inspiration, inspiring jealousy, moving humankind forward, showing the way. Proving what is possible with God-given talent and almost superhuman dedication.

None even come close to James Reginald Colin Ramsden talking about postboxes on this week’s TickyOff. None.

It’s obviously slightly downhill after a start as incredible as this one but music photographer Edu Hawkins steps up and more than holds his own.
He provides ample mouth-created sounds about photographing BB King, Gil Scott Heron, Jarvis Cocker, and perhaps less impressively, Ed Sheeran.
There’s also New Orleans food discussion, the problem with The Foo Fighters and strange toilets in restaurants.
Finally, Sam is very anti reckless activity, James reviews Gloria Trattoria, Edu can’t burp and they all decide what they’d want to see if they peeled the skin of their faces off.

This is TickyOff and if you don’t know what you’ve signed up for, then read the small print ya phony!

This week’s episode is sponsored by the Levi Roots of wine dropwine.co.uk

Horses are beautiful creatures. Powerful animal shaped beings with long faces, wavy manes and metal feet.
Sometimes you just have to set them free.

In a move which again illustrates Sam’s heroic, humble and truly depthless humanity, this week he unhitches the saddle from James’s back, unties the plaits in James’s mane, feeds James a sugarcube and lets him run free for the very first time. As the leather seat of bondage falls to ground, and the sugarcube crunches beneath those big horsey teeth, James turns to Sam and in those dark, somewhat vacant equine eyes, there lies a question:

Can this be true? That you would give me….the world? The world entire in which I can canter?

Sam says nothing, but the look in his powerful, and stunning, blue eyes, says more than any words ever could. But if there were any words the four legged ass would understand, they would be something like:

Of course I give you this, donkey buddy. I am just an everyday hero.

Then the horse runs off to Thailand.

That’s right, this week, Sam heroically steps aside and allows James to carry the pod on his broad mule-like back. He’s in Thailand talking to food writer Kay Plunkett-Hogge and chef and restaurateur of Pok Pok, Andy Ricker.

Don’t worry though, there’s at least a little Sam this week in the intro where he emits mouth sounds concerning unexplained falling objects over Chichester, cooks something which James says is gross and takes a swing at both his mother and his sister for complaining about a prior podcast.
Plus there’s a very serious chat about redemption, hand to hand combat with vegetables and teaching your kid how to behave via the movies of James Bond.

This week’s episode is sponsored by the Redrum’s of wine dropwine.co.uk

The humility and truly humble nature of the TickyOff Boyz is what many people believe has led to their vast success in life, and in podcasting. Sure, there’s the wonderful humanitarian work they do. There’s Sam’s work with people affected by ghost hauntings or James’s selfless support of people who look like horses to name but two. These vast achievements on behalf of humankind itself generally fly under the radar completely because Sam and James don’t do them for the recognition, the fame, the well wishes or the financial reward. They do these things because they are probably two of the greatest human people ever to have lived. You wouldn’t know it to meet them though, they’d just shrug and bat away any compliments.

‘It’s just who we are’ they’d say.

'It’s just what we do’ they’d say.

You’d be honoured to be in their presence and you’d be left with more questions than answers. How can two people be that kind, that handsome and that successful yet also that pure of heart and endeavour? It’s incredible. They really are very special indeed.

All of these qualities are in full effect on this week’s episode. Sam has been digging a river and named it after himself. James has a Vicks stain on his teeshirt which only adds to his raw sexuality. There is a fascinating discussion of names, learning from burning, and James keeps naming members of semi-obscure British rock band of the early Noughties, Oceansize.

Then comedian, rival food podcaster and heavy music fan Ed Gamble arrives and two mouths become three, like viral bacteria multiplies but in an aural sense.

Ed talks about his start in comedy, 'Big Train', dressing like a rabbit (consensually) and why he may or may not be wearing chainmail underwear. There’s also a discussion about sensitivity in comedy, the fall of Louis CK and what the most metal of woodwind instruments might be.

Somehow they also manage to fit in Dungeons And Dragons, dal, Ed’s fiancee burning a Jamaican curry, James names yet more members of semi-obscure British rock band of the early Noughties, Oceansize, and Sam flat out demands that Ed picks a pulse.

This is God’s work, if God is in fact two boyz named TickyOff. Humanity, you are welcome.

This week’s episode is sponsored by an incredible bag of wine from dropwine.co.uk. Buy it and drink it. It helps.