The Kitchen Is On Fire (food)

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September 2017
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Syndication

After a summer hiatus our heroes return to give Pidgin restaurant manager Margot a send-off before she heads to South America. The funereal vibe doesn't last, and over a few drinks they cover organ donation, the colour of blood, arseless chaps and Mother Teresa. Sam eats a sausage. James doesn't think he could kill Sam. Margot is a Norse goddess. Is it racist to confuse Tina Turner and Whitney Houston? Will Margot miss them? How long is an era? Find out this week....

Direct download: TKIOF-EP83-_MARGOTS_FUNERAL_PARTY.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 3:38am EDT

After a brief hiatus the boys are back - to the future! And my word, the things they have seen. Nanobots taking over the planet, murderous toasters, people who can eat entire pint glasses, and cockroach milk. They also ponder the world's first 3D restaurant, the event horizon, and the resurrection of laptops. In many ways it's their most coherent effort yet, though they still find time to discuss food - egg sandwiches, cornichons, merguez sausages and Jeremy Beadle's diet are all scrutinised. Don't eat it all at once. 

Direct download: TKIOF-EP81-TOMORROWS_WORLD.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 4:00am EDT

We begin with an apology to a listener for offending her with the boys' gross toasty mouths. They soon divert attention by accusing Louis Armstrong of dishonesty and Guy Fieri of grotesque bigotry. Sam went to Reykjavik with his mum. James nearly killed Kit Harrington. Do we have all the time in the world? Where do genitals go when you hug? And just how atrocious an actor is Ben Affleck? Find out all this and more in this week's TKIOF.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP79-RESPECT_THE_BATFLECK.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 4:23am EDT

The people of Britain have spoken and the results are clear: Pidgin hasn't made it into the Restaurant Awards top 100. Sam is angry but pragmatic. James makes some toast. They discuss drinking champagne on the rocks, Gordon Ramsay's new app (again), and that timeless Tom Selleck film 'Runaway'. James talks about his graffiti shame. Sam thinks he has ADHD. Would they make good politicians? What happens when you chuck Dairylea at the ceiling? Can robots make bisque? Find out this week.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP78-UNIVERSAL_INDICATOR.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 3:07am EDT

In a pre-referendum environment James and Sam are full of optimism and cheer. They ponder the temptation to do something truly reckless, why people grin during arguments, and Nigel Farage's abortive use of the term 'chinky'. James thinks lemon drizzle cake is delicious and reads his food diary, in which he eats pizza twice in one day. Sam can't remember what he cooked at the weekend due to alcohol intake but talks about sandwiches at length. What does the naked restaurant smell like? Is there life after death? And, when it comes to garlic, how much frotting is really necessary? 

Direct download: TKIOF-EP77-A_RIGHT_HANDFUL.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 3:15am EDT

Over a steadying can of Special Brew the boys convene once more to tackle some of life's more profound topics, including the Highway Code, kryptonite condoms, and suckling pig. Sam shares his food diary for the week and talks about getting depressed and eating Sour Patch Kids. James says the most racist thing ever. How saucy is a dansak? What foul thing did Margot do? And just what are the tasting notes for Special Brew?

Direct download: TKIOF-EP76-A_MANURE_FILLED_HORN.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 11:46am EDT

After a year of recording amidst the din of their restaurant, Pidgin, Sam and James find themselves back at James's breakfast table with a cup of coffee and a piece of toast. They ponder such big questions as to whether it is better to be good or right, the etiquette of keys parties, and whether or not John Travolta has killed anyone. Sam thinks he should win a Pulitzer. James puts a reminder in the barbecue. Is the guy from Crowded House a genius? Who has been the worst TKIOF guest? And just how brilliant is Sam? 

Direct download: TKIOF-EP75-PULITZER_FOR_AN_IDIOT.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 2:34am EDT

Our heroes are joined by old friend, comrade, and employee Hugh Woodward on his return from India. They discuss time travel, punishment by food, and medieval weaponry. Hugh wears a nappy and grows cynical on his travels. James was made to stand on a bench in the school dining room. Sam claims he's a time traveler. Do cows eat butter? Where would you time travel to? Would you rather eat dinner with Stephen Hawking or Paul Daniels? Find out this, and more, on this week's episode: Time Travelers of Zong.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP74-TIME_TRAVELLERS_OF_ZONG.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 2:53am EDT

There's a cheese surplus 'crisis' in the US and Sam has some suggestions about how to use up the excess. Few of them involve eating cheese. James keeps a bible by his bed and talks about milking cows. Sam wonders if milk turns to yogurt in an udder if unmilked, and rechristens Rick Stein 'Fish Mad Dick'. What are your favourite asparagus recipes? What do you covet? And what does a cow nipple actually feel like? Find out all this, and more, in this week's episode: Return to Cheese Mountain. 

Direct download: TKIOF-EP73-RETURN_TO_CHEESE_MOUNTAIN.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 6:27am EDT

The sun is out which perhaps inevitably leads to a long and heated discussion of picnics. James loathes them, Sam is suspicious of them and Margot had an illegal one.Other topics flat-out mulled over include whether or not your kid is Bane, a roller coaster in Yorkshire and a killer curry. James gets attacked by a 1947 bottle of pricey port, Sam disses one of Pidgin’s neighbours and Margot once again advocates for drinking in the daytime. All this, plus further idiocy and tomfoolery on Episode 72: Death and Picnics.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP72-DEATH_AND_PICNICS.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 8:02am EDT