The Kitchen Is On Fire

Right, listen up. There isn't any of the usual nonsense from Ramsden and Herlihy this week. There's no cav nero, no bad parenting and no twee "Ooooohhh Jamesey, what did you cwook this weekend?". Sam isn't going to be telling no tales about some windy walking dumbassery he's been up to and James isn't going to be babbling on about yet another bloody wedding he's been dancing at. Wake up people! There is NONE OF THAT CAPER ROUND HERE THIS WEEK! NONE!

Instead, this week Sam and James sit back, hungover, and are roundly steamrollered by Matt Chatfield who has a lot to say on some flat-out BIG topics.

Brexit? Of course. The future of Cornish farming? A gallon. Vegans? A  lake full. The left wing bias of London food media? Ladies and sirs I give you a deep and spooky well of that chat.

Matt comes out swinging at many a target while James dutifully takes notes for him and Sam only manages to babble out something about a bear kissing a dog and to point out the fascinating set up of a woodpecker's tongue.

Normal wacky-ass service will be resumed next week but for now allow your ears an aural feeding of provocative but damn interesting thoughts and theories from a man who believes he can see the future of this crappy country of ours....

This weeks serious episode is sponsored by the serious-about-wine dudes at dropwine.co.uk

Direct download: TKIOF-EP143-BIG_TOPICS_1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:20am EDT

"I've got the key, I've got the secret" someone sang on a terrible song a while ago. If the key and the secret is actually episode one hundred and forty two of TickyOff then YOU now have said key and said secret and you have these aforementioned items without that garbage song puking in yer ears....anyway...

Food journalist and baby faced drinker James Hansen is here and the topics are deep. We're talking canned tuna, a deep dive into the world of coffee, cakes made of gravy and working in a theatre.

Before Hansen shows, James and Sam babble on about their office night out, their gardening exploits outside Magpie and the wonders of the mighty restaurant Ciao Bella.

Sam sees a Native American on the tube platform and Ottolenghi on a bike and Margot phones in to try and get our wonderful hosts to go boozing with her.

There's all that nonsense plus a bumper Quickfire and a hefty dose of Over/Underrated.

We really hope you like this podcast. We have love for you. In a way.

 

This weeks episode is sponsored by the mad booze loonies at  dropwine.co.uk and ourvodka.com/ourlondon

Direct download: TKIOF-EP142-FLASHER.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:42am EDT

Crumbs. It's actually here. That's right. Episode 141 is here. What a number! What a number of episodes to have achieved. It's also World Otter Day at TKIOF Towers. Scenes. Real big scenes....

Sam gets GapShamed and has a whistling nose. James is on odd, pretty drunk form having fallen asleep on the tube, watched 'Patrick Melrose' in the wrong order and done a super funny joke on Islay.

Praise be to Anna Sulan Masing who appears just in time to throw down on some flat out weighty topics such as The Tomorrow Project, #metoo coming to the UK restaurant scene and whether or not tokenism can be useful.

However, this is TickyOff and seriousness cannot reign forever. Soon Sam is dying on a hill made of penises, James keeps making really woeful jokes and Anna goes deep on Guns and Roses, New Zealand 'Bogans' and the benefits of taking magic mushrooms.

This episode, like all episodes that have come before it, raises a vast number of questions but you should know up front that only one question really matters.....what does your heart smell like?

Wow. That's a deep one. Listen along with this triangle of chatting humans and you'll understand....scenes...real scenes...

 

This week’s episode is sponsored by dropwine.co.uk and ourvodka.com/ourlondon

Direct download: TKIOF-EP141-ANNE_FRANK_ON_THE_FACE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:14am EDT

Look out! Episode 140 is about and by about I don't mean 'hanging around, just kind of blending in to the background and minding it's own business'. I mean ABOUT!  This episode is staggering around like a drunk fool on a packed tube train. Up in your face! Stinking of booze! And crisps! And whatnot!

This week James is ratty and has run a half marathon while Sam may be wearing racist trainers and hasn't seen 'The Lion King".

There are question marks over how much human remains and/or dog urine we lie in when we lie in parks, the differences between skirt/flank/bavette steak and whether or not James showered with food writer George Reynolds.

Thank whatever god (or goddess!) you worship that chef-owner of Nanban in Brixton, cookbook author and Masterchef winner Tim Anderson arrives to up the knowledge, wit and entertainment level.

The mouth-count is up by a third and these three mouths begin with some solid Matrix, Marvel and Star Wars chat before moving into the myths of MSG, recruiting restaurant staff and the wonders of Tim's home state, Wisconsin.

Also legendary TickyOff game 'Who Eats What' is back! No lie! 'Who Eats What?' is back! B to the A to the C to the goddamn K. Back baby! Imagine that. You don't have to imagine that 'Who Eats What?' is back, because it's actually back, and here, on this weeks podcast.

Please refrain from blowing your brains out all over the dashboard of your car at this news. We appreciate life can only go downhill from here but you may as well keep going. You never know, 'Who Eats What?' might be back another week. Who knows? I do not.

 

Direct download: TKIOF-EP140-THE_BUTCHER.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:17am EDT

First up, why in all hell did Nosferatu have long fingers?

Secondly, what actually is missionary work?

Huge questions posed this week by medium sized men, both in brain size and in bodily...bulk.

Amidst the usual TKIOF ballyhoo there is genuine drama this week as Sam's wife takes a break from buying garbage on Gumtree to save a choking child, James has zero service at a beloved London restaurant and this week's guest reveals exactly what happens when you defrost a mouse in a microwave.

Said guest is the delightful self confessed 'breeder' and wine expert Joe Fattorini who basically drives up in a tanker truck full of knowledge and unscrews the rear valve, sending a spume of wine based facts arcing into the sky and directly into James and Sam's faces, ears and if we're being totally honest, their mouths. It's an aural sight to be seen/heard...I've confused myself.

Furthermore, Jame's wife hangs out on a beach with Benny Cumberbatch, Sam is amazed by James and Joe's pope knowledge and Joe puts a dent in a 10 million dollar roof with a drone.

It's a TKIOF, and you know EXACTLY, what that means.

Pull 'em up and put it on.

Wazzzzzzup etc.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP139-THE_PRATFALL_EFFECT.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:51am EDT

James and Sam are this week joined, via human contact within the same room on a little place I like to call Planet Earth, by another homo sapiens type creature. This one goes by many names but for the purposes of this podcast we shall know him by his actual name, Chris Stark!

Chris dishes many tonnes of dirt on life at Radio One, studying politics, his infamous Mila Kunis interview and his new found love for cooking.

Before that, James continues to lower the bar when it comes to parenting ability, gets aggy with his wife and watches a really fun movie film.

Meanwhile Sam just can't stop walking down a foul alley, his wife just can't stop buying trash on Gumtree and his son just can't stop doing something obscene while listening to 'Rattlesnake' by King Gizzard And The Lizard Wizard.

Wow meet zer! It really is a podcast of a rare vintage. Hear it, in your mind. Via, as ever, your ears. Or someone else's. Your call.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP138-MUTTON_PELLETS.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:14am EDT

It's duo week on TKIOF in that there are only two people mouthspeaking. Those two people are James and Sam. You know them. You like them very much.

You'll also like hearing them breathing in air and spewing out wise thoughts and unwise idiocy. Examples this week include Sam telling a Spanish lady his name is Elias, James cooking a turbot on Jersey and the pair of them being very unsure as to how radar works.

Sam has taken a liking to Sundays, James plays hardball with a gym membership renewal. There's yet more Brat-Chat and they both take Jay Rayner to task for leaving flaming dogdirt on someone's front door step....

Also, canalside vikings, a parmesan storm, James's son swearing and Sam thinks, once more, he's about to die.

This week's episode is sponsored by the friendly booze hounds at dropwine.co.uk and ourvodka.com/ourlondon

Direct download: TKIOF-EP137-NUGGET_OF_NECESSITY.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:54am EDT

Wames Wamsden and Wam Werlihy begin this weeks waffle with many words (once again) upon one of their favourite topics, the films and general vibe of Christopher Nolan.

Keeping it filmic they go on to talk nonsense about Bladerunner and talk respectfully about the passing of director Milos Forman.

They discuss their recent evening cooking at Magpie, James tries to convince Sam that the Earth is flat and Sam tries to convince James that coffins can move of their own spooky accord, in a crypt, in Barbados.

Thankfully esteemed food writer and author Olia Hercules shows up and things take a turn for the wiser and far more informative. Olia schools the TKIOF Posse on growing up in the Soviet Union, blue fenugreek and basically upturns a stockpot full of hot and steaming cookery knowledge over their heads.

Olia and James share an allergy, Sam is still conflicted about eating octopus and James leaves his son with strangers in a canal-side cafe.

All this plus, Ukrainian summer kitchens, Kiev restaurant recommendations and a deep dive on some weapons grade borscht technique.

It's borderline classic TickyOff. It's noises made by humans via their mouths on their faces and then into your ears on your heads. Or wherever else you keep you ears. That's up to you.

This week's episode is sponsored by dropwine.co.uk and ourvodka.com/ourlondon

Direct download: TKIOF-EP136-THE_GEORGIAN_TOASTMASTER.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:13am EDT

This week James and Sam are joined by beloved cookbook author and all knowing cookery sage Diana Henry. This three-mouthed babble machine trades chat based blows about pizza ovens, River Cottage and The Sportsman. Diana spills the beans on her trip to White Rabbit restaurant in Moscow and Sam and James dish on how they come up with dishes at Pidgin. See? They dish on dishes. Wonderful.

Furthermore, James says broadcast again and they all discuss the language of food, Gabrielle Hamilton and Ruby Tandoh.

Before Diana shows up James visits Sardine to eat a veal shin, Sam explains why he wears a condom on aeroplanes and this most deadly of duos reveal the mysteries and wonder of a little something they like to call Broc-O-Clock.

It's not complicated, it's TKIOF goddamnit. Enjoy this sound within your ears.

Wake up.

This weeks episode is sponsored by dropwine.co.uk and ourvodka.com/ourlondon

Direct download: TKIOF-EP135-PEACH_SARDINE_WHITE_RABBIT..mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:54am EDT

Rejoice all those who hate Sam and his awful nasal voice. his microphone broke halfway through the recording. The good news is he’s a lot quieter than normal, the bad is that in order to get him even somewhat audible the sound quality is not perfect. Humble apologies, hopefully it won’t affect your enjoyment too much, a few sound issues are a small price to pay to hear this week’s guest….

It’s episode one hundred and thirty four and Deputy Editor of @qmagazine Niall Doherty is here. Before he shows up James and Sam trade sounds from their mouths on a wide variety of topics such as the wedding Sam just went to, Adam Coghlan’s cap, Chick Fil A and a German cannibal. Sam sees a Steve Bannon lookalike, James rode a horse and ate many many cashew nuts.

After that glittering yap performance Niall schools the TKIOF BozoPatrol on nosebleeds, airport boozing and his deep seated love for Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam. Namedropping like a cloud drops….rain…Niall eats stew with Sting, stew with Shaggy, chilli with Josh Homme and hangs out in a number of chain restaurants with Liam Gallagher.
There’s also time for a QuickFire, a somewhat serious discussion on people being mean and Niall reveals that when Sam was in a band, he was pretty much a twat.

The sound may not be perfect this week but do you know what is perfect? The classic TKIOF vibe is perfect. What more could anyone listening to TKIOF ask for?

This week’s episode is sponsored by dropwine.co.uk and ourvodka.com/ourlondon

Direct download: TKIOF-EP134-SHAGGY_AND_THE_STEW.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:59am EDT