Sun, 24 February 2019
This week on English Country Garden Naturist Patrol, James and Sam discuss inner-thigh chafing, brunching in the buff and what to pack for a naturist's masquerade ball in Ipswich.
Apologies, that's their other pod..Anyway, this week on the TickyOff things get off to a mellow start as James relaxes himself by placing a stress reliever toy somewhere foul. He is also planning on babysitting some yeast. Sam has cooked some Palestinian food, cuts his fingernails in a grim fashion and starts bleating on about shoe horns.
They then move on to weightier topics such as heavy drinking in the hospitality industry, colonic irrigation and Sam's Ma's steak sauce recipe.
Then noted grain peddler Alex Hely-Hutchinson pretty much arrives in the office to add another mouth to the mouth duo that was there mouthing with their mouths prior to her arrival, with her mouth in tow.
The mouth of Alex rambles forth on celeb visitors to her shop (PAUL M'F&^KIN THOMAS ANDERSON!!! Spoiler alert....horse, wave your tail at the stable door way way behind you), broccolo, grains vs seeds and how to evolve a breakfast led business. James’s mouth erupts with his porridge tekkers. Sam's mouth seems to spurt in all directions as they cover Queen, The Queen and how to maintain the warranty on your Sodastream machine.
And in a final brave stance, as a two fingered salute to all the haters, all the negative nellies, and to The Man, the TickyOff Boyz proclaim that murder.... is bad. Bravery like that deserves a goddamn Nobel prize or at least some Squarespace sponsorship surely?
This week's episode is sponsored by wine nirvana providers dropwine.co.uk and vodka babylon kings ourvodka.com/ourlondon