It's a big week for James in this episode as he visits Coombeshead Farm, is assaulted by a cat and gets dosed with some high strength snus by this week's guest. In Sam news, he has become addicted to doughnuts and become stocky. James believes these two events may be linked....

Eater London editor Adam Coghlan then makes his second appearance upon the TickyOff and they get into Michelin in a big way. Brat, Ikoyi, Phil Howard, diversity, an algorithm to create the perfect inspector. It's a lot, a lot of tire themed restaurant chat.

After that there's just enough time for Chubby Checker chat, yet more borlotti bean chat and Adam to take a big swing at Sir Anthony Hopkins.

Hashtag, chat.

This week is sponsored by wine legends dropwine.co.uk and vodka legends ourvodka.com/ourlondon

Chef Victor Garvey is back upon the TickyOff this week. He has carried some delicious jamon through the streets of Soho and he’s also carried some noises in his mouth that he releases like Candyman from the movie ‘Candyman’ releases wasps or bees or whatever they were from his mouth. These noises coalesce into topics that you can listen to with those holes in the side of your skulls. Those holes are called ear holes and you should let these sounds enter those holes but do not let wasps or bees enter. That would hurt.
Victor is babbling on about his new venture in Soho, his love for Ironman, and the moves young chefs should, but rarely, make.
There’s also chat about glamorous beans, James looks like Don Trump Junior, Victor looks like someone awful and Sam gets Victor’s name entirely wrong.
Victor spreads some serious paella based knowledge about, James yammers out something about how you collect diamonds or rubies or something and they all get seriously into the biggest of topics, in the midst of the pretty damn big topics I’ve already mentioned: DEATH!!
Death and TKIOF. What the hell else did you expect? Food chat? Jokers.

This week The Tickyoff is sponsored by lords of the dance and also, far more importantly, lord of wine!: dropwine.co.uk

And those friendly neighbourhood vodka based still-jockeys at ourvodka.com/ourlondon

Listen up people. This episode is not messing around. I mean, James and Sam do mess around briefly at the start to be fair. They babble on about over reacting to bad reviews, and how 'Bob' is regularly the name of gameshow hosts. Sam writes a nice tweet and James plays a great new TKIOF game 'Dead Or Alive'.

So there is that small portion of messing around.

Then Asma Khan arrives and the time for silly business is over.

The origin story herein is a darn epic. Taking in royalty, a fortress, cricket in the streets, the often sad reality for second born daughters and Asma's journey to today as the chef owner of the awesome Darjeeling Express in Soho and now the first chef from Britain featured on Netflix's 'Chef's Table'.

It's maybe a first for TickyOff....an episode that's pretty poignant, fascinating and possibly even quite moving...

Though maybe it's not a first and the 'Joey Trib' game regularly gets you all weepy....I dunno.

James and Sam pipe down and listen the hell up. I suggest you do the same.

This week's episode is sponsored by your booze buddies and mine:

dropwine.co.uk

and

ourvodka.com/ourlondon

You can cast many things. A fishing line. A spell. A perfect replica of your own genitals in molten lead. You can also cast pods. And that ladies and gentlemen is exactly, exactly, what these two chuckleheads James and Sam have gone and done this week. For the one hundred and fifty third time. If that isn't a casting achievement, I have no goddamn idea what is. Wake up!

This week our grim pair wake up next to one another and decide to emit sounds from their mouths during morning time. These audible emissions concern fun topics such as  Jordan Peterson's weird diet, Sam's anniversary party and James's visit to spendy quasi-restaurant Maus.

Sam apologizes for getting a 'Silence of The Lambs' reference wrong last week, James apologizes for being leathered on last week's pod and they both get into a truly wonderful chat concerning how best to dismantle, store and rebuild large structures made of metal. It really is something.

After far too much of this ballyhoo, writer, OG Masterchef winner and founder/owner of Wahaca restaurants, Thomasina Miers arrives in the office and actual sensible, wise and interesting vowels, words and concepts spurt forth.  Tex-Mex food, mezcal, biochemistry and Ballymaloe cookery school are covered. Sam goes to a Taco Bell in Compton LA during the height of early 1990's gang violence. James drinks tequila with Tom Parker Bowles and Thomasina tells her origin story from winning Masterchef to opening Wahaca.

Finally, TickyOff throws a crime shaped bone out there for fans of true crime, deep-dive podcasts like 'Dirty John' and 'Serial' and whatnot.....it turns out that there's every chance that Thomasina has utterly destroyed Soho Farmhouse's entire crop of courgettes for next year.....

WOW!

This week's sponsors are...guess who????

Yeah, it's the vineyard botherers at dropwine.co.uk and the grog hawkers at ourvodka.com/ourlondon.

Back after their summer break, the dumbo-deux get straight into word sounds from their mouths. These word sounds concern such topics as the evolution of tabloid sex language, The California Raisins and The Who. Sam may be romping with a donkey, James really loves creamy honey and friend of the pod, Moves from Drop, goes on a 'Notting Hill' style walk through Soho.

Then Clerkenwell Boy shows up, cracks open a beer and matters improve as this triple mouthed discussion gang get into the ups and downs of influencing, charity work and why gorgonzola is possibly the best cheese there is. Oh and CB invites Beyonce and Roger Federer round for sushi and negronis....

There's also a real deep dive into the band Foreigner, Korean BBQ, and hugely exciting news about the acoustic set that James is playing at The Hawley Arms next Thursday!

And on a more serious note, to contribute to Cook For Syria as discussed in the episode please go to:

www.cookforsyria.com

This week's episode is sponsored by the fine people at:

dropwine.co.uk

ourvodka.com/ourlondon

It's the final episode before our over-haired pair take an utterly undeserved summer break and instead of doubling down on intelligence and wit, they do their usual and fling ever more nonsense on the pile they've been building for one hundred and fifty episodes so far....

A semi-libelous start involving the pair behind Hot-Dinners.com sampling cocaine by a swimming pool rapidly devolves further into wood on a boat, the necks of geese, and chipolata cookery on a beach.

James is/was secretly in love with Gail from 'Corrie', keeps going North and lived in a halfway house. Sam really was a terrible singer, was punished for a good deed on a train and has a really very interesting fact about Roald Dahl to share.

Later there is a very grim and NSFW tale about cottage cheese, some incredibly stupid/spooky chat about ghosts in Yorkshire and something else about the cheese known both here and indeed elsewhere as brie.

Cheese chat, ghost chat, geese chat, this chat caliber equals high. You must be high to listen to this. See you in Autumn people. See you in Autumn........

This episode is sponsored by your friendly neighborhood weapons manufacturer Lockheed Martin.......not really.

This episode is actually sponsored by fun seed and chemical suppliers Monsanto! Wow! Cancer and poisons and whatnot....actually joking again....

Booze professionals dropwine.co.uk and ourvodka.com/ourlondon are in fact packing the ad budget this week. Great news.

Goodbye.

"Knock Knock!"
"Who is there?"
"Tree Beard from ‘Lord Of The Rings’!"
"You just knocked on a slab of your own flesh!"
"What?"
The door you knocked on is made of wood, like you!
"I didn’t think about that."
"Wake up Treebeard and smell the wood you big……tree!"

If TickyOff was a tree, it would be a big knobbly number, a tree of many rings, a fair amount of root rot, maybe a creepy owl in a hole and no doubt packing some serious fungus about the midriff.
The above is a tree related way to say that TKIOF is one hundred and fifty years old!! If by years you mean episodes.
James and Sam look back, look forward and look around dumbfounded as they consider the usual array of vast topics.
This week James feels guilty, wonders if he’s fake or real and also ponders whether or not he’s a warmonger. Sam is concerned his memory is failing him at every turn, goes camping in a gale and meets his great uncle’s best mate in a cemetery.
There’s also time for Dead Man’s Charcoal, a Love Island press release, and some cacio e pepe chat.
As things head towards the end, Sam reveals that this is in fact his final ever appearance on TKIOF, James weeps tears of salad cream as he ‘completes’ and as the dust settles, they wonder on one of life’s greatest imponderables: Is massage actually any good?

This is a podcast. It is sounds in your ears. This is what this is. Nothing more, plenty less....

Check these newsworthy events out! James has been swimming this week, whilst looking like Pablo Escobar. Sam has been concerned that events in his life may be linked by more than mere coincidence. Together they've been to Brigadiers for dinner, James told a mayo based lie and Sam experienced a last minute baked alaska situation.

Then actor James Norton bowls in and topics get serious.

James N discusses Harvey Weinstein, Craig David, sex scenes and battery powered thermals. James R counters with some rock solid topics of his own such as the time he got mugged twice in Russia, on the same night. Sam H joins in the chat-attack with the TKIOF boyz failed audition for 'Call Me By Your Name' , summer penises and depression cheeseburgers.

There's also somehow time to note that Peter Sarsgaard is an absolute legend, George Harrison's house is properly mental and James Norton's family home came complete with a creepy as all hell, full size, waxwork of a seventy year old woman.....

This is TickyOff, you are human people with human ears, we are human people with human mouths making sounds.

This week's episode is sponsored by dropwine.co.uk and ourvodka.com/ourlondon

I’ll level with you, this episode is very much a game of two halves, a yin and a yang, an MJ and McCartney groove….and that weirdly quasi racist slow jam is not a bad reference because this week Sam and James are joined by food writer Lizzie Mabbott to discuss racism in the world of food, with particular reference to the grim events of the last few weeks in a particular London restaurant. Go look on Twitter for #somsaashitshow if you want to get the grim backstory to the entire grim mess. Grim. Gr meet im.
However, TickyOff can not and will not be cowed and bowed by racists and hatred, there’s important work to be done here! We have local soup chat to get though. We have vagina naming chats, pasta shape yaps and Thom Yorke’s kids discussions.
James reveals Dr Oetker’s son’s name, Sam gathers wood and gets furious with Sir Jony/Joni/Johnny Ive. Lizzie talks stiff membranes and having a scotch egg for an eye.
Yeah, there’s still classic TKIOF vibes aplenty, but sometimes it’s worth getting into a serious topic like this. It sucks it’s in our industry, it sucks we have to spend an episode talking about it but it is and we do, so we did.
So, balls to dumb racists, cheers to awesome Lizzie Mabbott and hopefully next week we can devote 100% of the episode to real big topics, like soup, and dead people’s chairs and mayonnaise.

This week is sponsored by dropwine.co.uk
I love them, you probably would too if you met them.

This week upon Thee Most Holy TickyOff, James and Samuel are straight up joined by the mighty Ed Harcourt up in the office. Ed babbles up a storm on New Orleans, falling into a pit of spiders, his move to the countryside and Graham Coxon's nickname for him. Ed is  also producing sounds from his mouth about chopping wood, his drug related kryptonite and how to stay creative when you have kids.

How's this for a spoiler?....Prior to Mr Harcourt's arrival James and Sam correctly predict the England result and incorrectly predict the Federer result. Wow meet zer.

These two buffoons then get into sausage rolls, the 'Unexplained' podcast, cooking fish in fields and Richard Dawkins' ghost.

Once Ed shows, there's also time for Danny Dyer's perfect comedy timing, an udder on the back of a head, lentils, and gumbo.

Also, one more spoiler for your spoilt selves, this one via a funtime quiz....Ed's great aunt was:

1. A beluga whale

2. Elizabeth David

3. Frida Kahlo

4. Really annoying

5. A half human half turkey hybrid

6. A figment of Ed's imagination

The answer is......TWO!!!! IS THIS TRUE?!?!? Yeah. He talks about it on this podcast. OH MY F&CKING GOD!! REALLY?!?!? Yeah. Chill out yeah? Calm down and listen to the mouthsounds in yer ear tunnels.

This episode is sponsored by dropwine.co.uk

How'd you like them apples grapes?