The Kitchen Is On Fire

All change on TKIOF Episode 109* where our trusty twosome glamp, brunch and grouse like it is in fact no thing. James fires up a wood oven only to baffle Sam with his meat tightfistedness. Sam's back explodes which flat out disgusts James. They discuss The War On Drugs, a singular pirate in the Caribbean and James's wife bravely purchases a stroller unseen from Gumtree! Stay tuned to find out how that jeopardy-ridden vibe plays out....

*There's no change, it's the same load of dumb chat it always is.

Direct download: TKIOF-109-_SMALL_PORTIONS_OF_BRAISED_MEAT.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:39am EDT

James and Sam are back and wrestling with topics both vast in scale and slippery in nature. Popeye, Free Willy, Gentle Ben and Wall E are all guests at this chatfest. Sam doesn't care if life is real, James intends to commit fraud at Zara and there is a truly fascinating discussion of import/export tax rates, shipping and bonded warehouses. Gawdamn this is a zesty brain trust. Two great minds jousting with the truths of life as if it is in fact, no thang. Kerplunk!

Direct download: TKIOF-EP108-_NUDE_AND_COVERED_IN_JELLY.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:57am EDT

Everyone's first choices for a 'Chuckle Brothers' re-boot are back after a few weeks off to open a new restaurant. Sam discovers that James is a heavily scarred individual while James discovers that Sam is utterly inept at rugby. There's also some classic insulting of their audience, a long discussion on the etiquette of loaning fields to other farmers and a weird Lionel Ritchie in 'Ghost' detour. You've missed them, they haven't missed you, but still, James and Sam are back and ready to upturn an overflowing bucket of TKIOF juice all over yer heads!

Direct download: TKIOF-EP107-20A20FIELD20FULL20OF20SPIDERS.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:14am EDT

Could this actually be the end of the line for our gruesome twosome? Sam and James have had an argument and it seems that bygones can't be bygones...In other news they get lost in 'Gulliver's Travels', there's a Radiohead update and whilst their own friendship seems dashed upon the rocks, they'd both really like to be friends with Edgar Wright. Oh, and Sam vomits so much he blows out all the blood vessels in his eyeballs.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP106-THE20ARGUMENT.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:10am EDT

It's a guest fest. A festival of guests. Thom Ramsden! Faith! Pidgin regular turned pal of our dummy hosts Matt Bright! It rains misogyny, there is talk of The Doors and 'The Doors' and Matt tells all about a boozy trip to Hitler's bunker. James embarrasses himself in a pub and Sam is flat-out rude to a homeless dude. Episode one hundred and five comes from a new venue, with new people on the microphones, but it's still the same old nozzle of nonsense spurting all over the place. Get it, hear it, know it and feel a bit gross afterwards.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP105-THE20GRIEF20PROWL.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:29am EDT

It's the 21st June, aka the Summer Solstice, aka the longest day of the year, aka the day James and Sam decide to show just how square they are. They ponder a remake of the Rock involving a terror threat at Goodwood Golf Course, as well as cartoon pornography, Believe by Cher, and the Pidgin 100 Menu Party. James apologises for being accidentally rude about a chef. Sam does a none too shabby vocoder impression. Are hippies really having more fun? Was James and Sam's She Loves You karaoke effort really the highlight of the Pidgin second birthday party? And would Nick Cage put in a performance as a plucky caddy? Find out the answer to these burning kitchens in this week's the Question Is On Fire. 

Direct download: TKIOF-EP104-THE_PLUCKY_CADDY.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 12:35pm EDT

Sam is scared of his wife and of Spiderman's genitals. James looks like Batfleck and is once more talking about umbilical cords. Classic, and classy, TKIOF vibes on show, in the show. Showbusiness! Know this.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP103-20THE20URN2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:46am EDT

James teaches everyone about hypno-birthing. Somehow this leads into talk of the Zapatistas, The Smashing Pumpkins and Adam Buxton. Unlikely bedfellows perhaps but what d'ye expect? Anyway, Sam is happy with his lot and James blanks a fan and Sting may or may not go to Pidgin for dinner......It's TKIOF, and you are welcome.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP102-STING27S20LACY20THONG.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:42am EDT

You thought you were safe? Free from these yapping dummies? Think again people. J-Razzle and the Sh'Dawg are back. Bringing their classic brand of babbling nonsense one more. Scary goats? Present and correct. Relentless namedropping? Of course. A long, some might say stupidly long, discussion of Dido's family tree? Yep. All this plus some deep confusion regarding Incas and Aztecs and James rubs his eye with some serious technique! You are welcome!

Direct download: TKIOF-EP101-BLACK20GARY.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:19am EDT

In the words of a dead drunk leather trouser wearing idiot; This is the end.

After one hundred episodes of sometimes inspired and more often utterly nonsensical idiocy, our dumb heroes stagger wheezing over the finish line. Did they put any effort into their swansong? What do you think? They die as they lived, unprepared, lost in digressions, pondering incredibly stupid animal based conundrums, their old friend Bane alongside them. Is there talk of an accidental B and Q swastika? Do they wonder for too long over what exactly a 'smoked chub' is? Does James score a hell of a goal from right midfield? Did Sam have a sad dream? There is, they do, he did and he did too. The Kitchen Is On Fire no more. Now it's just a steamy mouldering pile of ash and lukewarm water. Thank God for that.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP100-THE20END.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:12am EDT