The Kitchen Is On Fire

In a shock to many, our gruesome twosome are back for the second week on the bounce. Bringing yet more of the high falutin', Marinas Trench-deep thinking that, as ye,t has not secured them a Nobel or a Pulitzer. This episode features a long and pretty dull chat about butter, James cooks a cock, Sam tells a spooky story about a lighthouse and the 'hilarious' recurring theme of diabetes. It really is something. In a way.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP91-_BOVINE_STRANGULATION.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:43am EDT

James and Sam make their long awaited (by at least two human beings) return! Bringing their usual idiocy and bickering to the year 2017. It's as if they haven't even been away for months as James refuses to understand just how big Giant Squid are, Sam namedrops like a twat, they ponder on the forthcoming death of Bob Dylan and just how much risky sex pensioners are really having.

The Kitchen Is On Fire (Again). Namaste!

Direct download: TKIOF-EP90-SQUID_VS_WHALE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:28am EDT

The boys are in the kitchen, cooking up some medicine. Or, if you will, some delicious snacks for their new bar, Enfant Terrible. This is their bid for a TV show, make no mistake. Consequently they discuss smoked oysters, cranberry sauce, Laurel and Hardy and toasties. Sam nearly had a Twitter 'beef' regarding AA Gill's passing. James reveals he once wore a nightshirt. Is the word 'spicy' too Frankie and Benny's? How much bread is too much bread? And is Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory really a not-very-subtle reference to what you see when you look up Grandpa Joe's nightie? Find out all this, and more, in this week's TKIOF.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP89-NIGHTSHIRT_NIGHTMARES.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 6:17am EDT

There's a new president-elect and James and Sam are about as damn chuffed about this as everyone else. They cheer themselves up by discussing Hollyoaks actresses of yore, but can't help returning to discussing The Donald's diet of lemonade and fast food, as well as the new New York Michelin stars, chef Gabriel Kreuther, and cows' anuses. Sam roasted a topside of beef. James got bullied by a Pidgin customer. How many nuts do you need to buy for the apocalypse? What is the sixth quarter? And just how 'bulk' can you go? 

Direct download: TKIOF-EP88-BULK_BUYING_FOR_GOD.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 4:31am EDT

A by-now legendary after-service recording occurs on Sam's birthday, with a debut appearance from 'sweet' Caitlin McDonald and yet another bizarre and shouty cameo from restaurant manager Jamie. They discuss honest criticism, arsehole volcanoes and whether people find James and Sam sexy. Sam has spent the day with sore testicles. James makes the strangest noise Sam has ever heard. What is a nugget? Why is Jamie shouting at Caitlin? What is a fish witch? Find out this week on the Kitchen Is On Fire.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP87-SWEET_CAITLIN_MCDONALD.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 6:56am EDT

Sam and James' tails are up since their restaurant, Pidgin, was awarded a Michelin star. They agree it's time to knuckle down before moving onto in-depth discussions about yogurt on toast, Bristol restaurants, Spanish breakfast buffets, and Dutch food. Sam heroically brings about the return of the 'Obscene Ingredient' segment. James humiliates himself. Are navy outfits camp? Is Latin still a legitimate dinner-time language? And just what is the pecking order for eggs at a buffet? 

Direct download: TKIOF-EP86-EQUAL_OPPORTUNITY_EGG_COOKERY.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 4:33am EDT

Sam and James are hanging out in James's office, much to his creepy delight. They chew over a debate they went to last week on French food, as well as pondering classic Italian restaurants featuring Kenny Rogers and quizzes in Paris. James bought a grouse. Sam is near-tumescent at his cavolo nero-heavy dinner at Pidgin. Why is James uneasy? What does kicking up the leaves mean? And can you milk Moby? 

Direct download: TKIOF-EP85-_MOBY_MILKING.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 5:52am EDT

Direct download: TKIOF-EP84-JAMES20AND20SAM27S20BEDTIME20ROUTINE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:24am EDT

After a summer hiatus our heroes return to give Pidgin restaurant manager Margot a send-off before she heads to South America. The funereal vibe doesn't last, and over a few drinks they cover organ donation, the colour of blood, arseless chaps and Mother Teresa. Sam eats a sausage. James doesn't think he could kill Sam. Margot is a Norse goddess. Is it racist to confuse Tina Turner and Whitney Houston? Will Margot miss them? How long is an era? Find out this week....

Direct download: TKIOF-EP83-_MARGOTS_FUNERAL_PARTY.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 3:38am EDT

Sam and James continue to mine the very depths of human inquiry with their restless and curious minds, pondering hare krishna here, discussing Lady and the Tramp there. We have groundbreaking discussions about soylent, the difference between maceration and marination, and the fellatio cafe due to open in London. Sam was shouted at in a supermarket carpark. James says 'virgin' rather too much. What is the Pidgin motto?What did Italian police do to a lonely old couple? And was everybody, actually, kung fu fighting?

Direct download: TKIOF-EP82-_THE_HUMAN_SNOWFLAKE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:03am EDT