The Kitchen Is On Fire

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March 2017
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Syndication

Sam and James continue to mine the very depths of human inquiry with their restless and curious minds, pondering hare krishna here, discussing Lady and the Tramp there. We have groundbreaking discussions about soylent, the difference between maceration and marination, and the fellatio cafe due to open in London. Sam was shouted at in a supermarket carpark. James says 'virgin' rather too much. What is the Pidgin motto?What did Italian police do to a lonely old couple? And was everybody, actually, kung fu fighting?

Direct download: TKIOF-EP82-_THE_HUMAN_SNOWFLAKE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:03am EDT

After a brief hiatus the boys are back - to the future! And my word, the things they have seen. Nanobots taking over the planet, murderous toasters, people who can eat entire pint glasses, and cockroach milk. They also ponder the world's first 3D restaurant, the event horizon, and the resurrection of laptops. In many ways it's their most coherent effort yet, though they still find time to discuss food - egg sandwiches, cornichons, merguez sausages and Jeremy Beadle's diet are all scrutinised. Don't eat it all at once. 

Direct download: TKIOF-EP81-TOMORROWS_WORLD.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 4:00am EDT

In which the silliest of billies discuss a bbq at John Torode's house, whether or not 'mummy' is a PC term, a witch's cottage and black coloured food.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP80-LURING20A20MULE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:56am EDT

We begin with an apology to a listener for offending her with the boys' gross toasty mouths. They soon divert attention by accusing Louis Armstrong of dishonesty and Guy Fieri of grotesque bigotry. Sam went to Reykjavik with his mum. James nearly killed Kit Harrington. Do we have all the time in the world? Where do genitals go when you hug? And just how atrocious an actor is Ben Affleck? Find out all this and more in this week's TKIOF.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP79-RESPECT_THE_BATFLECK.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 4:23am EDT

The people of Britain have spoken and the results are clear: Pidgin hasn't made it into the Restaurant Awards top 100. Sam is angry but pragmatic. James makes some toast. They discuss drinking champagne on the rocks, Gordon Ramsay's new app (again), and that timeless Tom Selleck film 'Runaway'. James talks about his graffiti shame. Sam thinks he has ADHD. Would they make good politicians? What happens when you chuck Dairylea at the ceiling? Can robots make bisque? Find out this week.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP78-UNIVERSAL_INDICATOR.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 3:07am EDT

In a pre-referendum environment James and Sam are full of optimism and cheer. They ponder the temptation to do something truly reckless, why people grin during arguments, and Nigel Farage's abortive use of the term 'chinky'. James thinks lemon drizzle cake is delicious and reads his food diary, in which he eats pizza twice in one day. Sam can't remember what he cooked at the weekend due to alcohol intake but talks about sandwiches at length. What does the naked restaurant smell like? Is there life after death? And, when it comes to garlic, how much frotting is really necessary? 

Direct download: TKIOF-EP77-A_RIGHT_HANDFUL.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 3:15am EDT

Over a steadying can of Special Brew the boys convene once more to tackle some of life's more profound topics, including the Highway Code, kryptonite condoms, and suckling pig. Sam shares his food diary for the week and talks about getting depressed and eating Sour Patch Kids. James says the most racist thing ever. How saucy is a dansak? What foul thing did Margot do? And just what are the tasting notes for Special Brew?

Direct download: TKIOF-EP76-A_MANURE_FILLED_HORN.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 11:46am EDT

After a year of recording amidst the din of their restaurant, Pidgin, Sam and James find themselves back at James's breakfast table with a cup of coffee and a piece of toast. They ponder such big questions as to whether it is better to be good or right, the etiquette of keys parties, and whether or not John Travolta has killed anyone. Sam thinks he should win a Pulitzer. James puts a reminder in the barbecue. Is the guy from Crowded House a genius? Who has been the worst TKIOF guest? And just how brilliant is Sam? 

Direct download: TKIOF-EP75-PULITZER_FOR_AN_IDIOT.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 2:34am EDT

Our heroes are joined by old friend, comrade, and employee Hugh Woodward on his return from India. They discuss time travel, punishment by food, and medieval weaponry. Hugh wears a nappy and grows cynical on his travels. James was made to stand on a bench in the school dining room. Sam claims he's a time traveler. Do cows eat butter? Where would you time travel to? Would you rather eat dinner with Stephen Hawking or Paul Daniels? Find out this, and more, on this week's episode: Time Travelers of Zong.

Direct download: TKIOF-EP74-TIME_TRAVELLERS_OF_ZONG.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 2:53am EDT

There's a cheese surplus 'crisis' in the US and Sam has some suggestions about how to use up the excess. Few of them involve eating cheese. James keeps a bible by his bed and talks about milking cows. Sam wonders if milk turns to yogurt in an udder if unmilked, and rechristens Rick Stein 'Fish Mad Dick'. What are your favourite asparagus recipes? What do you covet? And what does a cow nipple actually feel like? Find out all this, and more, in this week's episode: Return to Cheese Mountain. 

Direct download: TKIOF-EP73-RETURN_TO_CHEESE_MOUNTAIN.mp3
Category:Food -- posted at: 6:27am EDT